New Day...

today is a new day. yesterday, i was most definitely in a funk. i
was not a happy brooke. sometimes it is good to be in a funk. it
makes you appreciate being happy all that much more. kind of like
how dreary weather makes the good days all that much more beautiful.
anyway, so today is better. after a lot of thinking and reflecting
yesterday- i am not afraid to take another step today.

it can be hard work to take yourself out of a funk. for me, i have
to make a conscious decision and make definitive steps to bring
myself up. some of them are easy things to do in terms of knowing
what bothers me. some of them are harder. last night- i took some
steps toward ending my funk and moving on. i cleaned my house, i
took my vitamins. i did laundry. these are all such small things,
but it is amazing how much of a difference it makes for me. it is
not just the act or physical outcome of doing these things that make
me feel better: it is also the psychological game of it--- i am
telling myself that i can take care of myself and not let myself be
sucked into my funk. that i can make steps, no matter how small, to
move forward and take myself out of my bad mood. now, i am no
longer hating myself for living in squalor and chaos. i am in a
beautiful house that i love, and it is clean. it sounds silly, but
it makes such a difference for me. or i will do some small thing
that i have been procrastinating: pay a bill, for example.

i woke up this morning early and went for a run. it was cold and
windy outside- pretty miserable really. but i ran anyway. i knew
that it would make me feel better. i tell you- it is hard for me to
not be on a training plan! i LIKE knowing what i HAVE to do each
day... will be talking to kam later about getting set up on a new plan.

so, right now- i have looked at my data. yay me! i got over that
fear and so far- i am just reorganizing it and figuring out all that
i have. that alone is a pretty big job. and i got hired to build a
database for another lab. something that i like doing, should not
take me long- and will pay me a neat little chunk of change. so-
today feels good. i feel like i have gotten back on my feet after
slipping around a little yesterday. i am transitioning to this next
task and can do it.

i know that this is a blog about cycling, but right now, it is a blog
about how one cyclist copes with grad school. it is an emotional
roller-coaster- today is an upward climb. i feel SO much better.

on the cycling perspective- our team is still talking with and
finalizing sponsorship stuff... but it is exciting! there are a few
sponsors that we REALLY have our fingers crossed for and they are
looking promising. i know that the people who are in charge WANT to
sponsor us- it is just a matter of all the outside politics to see if
they can. now that we are not a shop team, it is harder to get
sponsors. if we are working through a shop- companies give us
product to increase sales in that shop. take away the shop, and our
biggest draw is advertising. a lot of teams have big clubs that help
support them. give the pro team product and the club will buy. that
is not our case. so, we have a tough sell and tough competition from
other teams that can negotiate to have shops or club members buy
product. but- the good news is that we are drawing a lot of
attention from some really really exciting sponsors! the right
people know and like us and it is just a waiting game now. we know
that we have done everything right to get these sponsors- now it is
just if the situation itself will be right. these are some great
companies and we really want to work to help them market their great
stuff. so, we will see! fingers are crossed... i really can't
wait! i try to not get too excited, but i am! either way- our team
will do well next season. so, i have to just keep that in mind.

anyway, so back to work for me for now. thanks for reading. and if
you did? WHY!? THIS IS BORING STUFF!