Hard day... Meet Fleche

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had been REALLY excited to help the team- this was a race where we were setting Kristin up for the win, and the course was a very hard one. It had 8 QOM climbs and 104 km- not super long. In our pre-race meeting, we had figured that the selection would be made on the third to last climb and that the race would be won on the second to last climb. The final climb would be an all out suffering where only the strong would survive... it was about 1k long and an average grade of 19%... pitching up to 21%

My goal for the race was to make it to that third to last climb and make sure that Kristin was in position. I was really eager to get to work for her and contribute. I had been feeling really good and really strong, so I did not think that it was too unrealistic to think that I could make it that far and help.

Unfortunately though- I did not have. It was hot out there- well into the 80*’s and it felt a bit humid too-- my stomach was really giving me trouble. I had food issues and could not eat or drink enough. I knew it- but my stomach was not working well. I was nauseous and was puking up a bit. My legs were not there and I felt horrible. I have had stomach issues before and it is very frustrating- I am not sure if it was the sandwich that I ate before, or what. But when I get it, I can’t eat, can’t keep things down and struggle to take in water. With the heat, I knew that I needed water, but could not get it in-- the drink mix was making my stomach feel worse and I had no plain water. Argh.

I was just feeling horrible. I got dropped on the second QOM, as I drifted back, desperately looking for Jessie, our seignior, to get a bottle of water, the rest of the field pulled away from me. I was drifting into the caravan and watching riders slip away as I searched for water. Unfortunately, Jessie had gotten lost on the way to the feedzone and she was positioned on the downhill where I had no chance to get a bottle. Now, I had to chase. I was fortunate to get a ride back onto the pack behind Amber Neben and her teammate, as she had a minor crash just over the top of the hill. Amber, her teammate and one T-Mobile rider (Oenone? I can’t remember) managed to get me back up to the tail end of the pack just as we hit the third QOM. As I passed Jim in the Caravan, I was able to grab a bottle for me and one more bottle. Rebecca had already grabbed a bunch of bottles for Kristin, Alison and Katheryn- but it was my hope that my lone bottle would not be in vain.

As we approached the bottle of the climb- I had one thought in my mind. I knew that I was done with my race, I was going to get dropped. And, I knew that I would not catch back on. All I wanted to do was help... I had a bottle and hoped that I could find a teammate who needed it. Just as we were heading into the climb, I saw that Alison had not gotten a bottle from Rebecca- so I wove through the pack and caught up to Ali. I handed off a well appreciated bottle just as the road pitched up. YES! I was NOT worthless!

I am not writing up a race report- since I did not finish. I was pulled and rode back to Huy to watch the finish of the race... but it was a great finish for the team. All four riders did great, and in the end, Kristin finished 5th in a very strong finishing climb.

For me though- it was hard. I was so disappointed in myself. I felt so weak and frustrated that I could not hang on. It is not always that you have a good race- and some days, you just don’t have it. It is particularly hard when you don’t have it on a big day when you really are hungry to help. And, when you don’t have it on a race that is inherently hard for you- the effect is magnified. It was funny though- I was throwing myself a good old fashion pity party on my ride home. At that moment when the whole caravan had passed me and the roads were open, (I even had some spectators who were sitting on a porch laugh at me), I was beating myself up and pissed, and I had forgotten all the races here where I have done well. All I knew is that at that moment- I was feeling pathetic and dwelling in my own bad moment....

The funny part? Just at that moment though- the radio crackled... and I heard Jim say, “SUPER SUPER SUPER!” and I started to smile... the pity party started to shut down. Only the last hangers-on of the emotional soiree remained, until I heard “GREAT JOB KATHERYN! YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS”... then the final guests left and I was happy again. I listened intently- Katheryn was off the front on the third climb, “YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS AND ARE PULLING AWAY. GREAT JOB!”. I was picturing it in my head and I was pounding on my handlebars in delight. GO GO GO!!!!!! Then I ran out of radio contact. I knew that my team was doing well. It was a matter of getting Kristin in to position in the last climb.

At this point, I was in the middle of nowhere that I knew, but I saw signs to Huy and just went straight back to town. I knew that I would beat them to town, since they had a few more climbs in the inland roads. I ran into one of the men on the Rabobank team who pointed me to the finishing climb when I got to town (another droppsie rider) and I proceeded to puzzle the fans by riding up the Huy. I rode up to the last 400 m, where the road curves and then pitches up for the final grueling drive. It was the best spot to watch.

I pulled to the side and took my place next to the fans that lined the streets. I was heckled by some- but two nice Americans gave me a bottle of water (unopened) and some dried fruit (which I should probably not have eaten). I was able to swallow my pride of being dropped by telling them all, “Watch for Kristin Armstrong- she is going to win. She is a World Champion”. “For USA? For you team?” “Yes. For MY team.”

It was exciting to watch. I knew that Vos and Cooke would be up there... and I KNEW that Kristin would be up there. Our girls did their job and she does hers. Sure enough, the first rider I saw was Cooke- she had attacked the base of the Mur de Huy, followed by a white jerseyed Vos. There was a small group of 5 or 6 riders, then a gap of about 20 m at most to the next group- I saw Stars and Stripes and unleashed my vocal cords... my last chance to help my team: cheer for her. I did. I yelled so loudly- as I watched, Kristin attacked on the steep pitch and started to close in on the riders ahead of her. She passed a few riders in my sight, but then the road curved and I did not know how she did. Turns out that she finished 5th! I was so excited when I saw her and found out. It really helps to get you to forget your bad day when the team had SUCH a great ride! Alison and Katheryn had attacked and countered- covered all moves that needed to be covered. Rebecca did the crucial task of making sure everyone had water in the heat, and I had done my best. We all felt great to be part of it. Happy day in the end. I am so honored to get to be a part of it all- I really was proud to be there, even if I was not able to help as much as my high expectations of myself had wanted.

One last funny story- I can laugh at this now, but at the time? No a happy Brooke.

Just after I had handed off my bottle to Alison- we hit the third QOM. This climb was a few k and started out steady and pretty hard, but then, the last 50m or so pitched up to a really steep angle. I did not know that. All I knew was that I was getting dropped again and was going backward past caravan cars. All the sudden, I looked up and saw the riders ahead out of the saddle on the pitch that, at that point, looked impossible to get up. The director in the car next to me yelled at me to go harder and encouraged me. I mustered up a last bit of courage, after a fair bit of mumbled swear words, and came out of the saddle for one more surge. I passed his car... passed the T-Mobile car on the right (not knowing that I should ALWAYS pass on the left), and just as we hit the steepest section... I ran out of road (since the T-Mobile car was moved all the way to the right, to let riders pass on the left!) and ran off the road into the dirt. I unclipped with only a short bit to the crest of the monster. I cursed again and got off my bike. I had no choice but to walk, pushing my bike, up the hill, since it was too steep for me to clip back in. Just then, Frank and Jim passed me and yelled out, “Everything all right?”... a curt, “yes”... “uh, ok, we have to go now”, another curt, “ok”. I was not happy Brooke.

Well, from Frank and Jim’s point of view- at the bottom of the hill, the sprinters had begun to get dropped. Jim was pointing out sprinter after sprinter- “that is so and so’s sprinter. She will win 15+ races this year... and there is so and so’s sprinter...” then they rounded the corner and saw me walking up the hill... “aaaannnnddd there is OUR sprinter”- apparently it took all the energy that the could muster to stifle the guffawing as they slowed to ask if I was, in fact, OK... “yes”. I am glad that I can see the humor in it now... it was not so funny for a while.