Resolutions... ode to my mom

My mom is an interesting woman. She is in a perpetual state of self-improvement. In the I-Ching, the ancient book of Chinese wisdom, life revolves around 64 day cycles. In her mind, that means that every 64 days is a chance to start something new and do it every day for 64 days. She believes that if you DO do something every day for 64 days, that it will become a routine and that it will be with you forever.

Sounds nice, but in actuality, I can personally attest to the fact that this is simply not true. One’s mother can clearly make her bed every single day for 64 days straight, only to have the 65th day dawn with and conclude with a bed that stands in disarray. Yet, as much as I have mocked my mother endlessly for her devotion to self-change- I love the idea of constantly changing one’s self. And, it does sometimes stick! And either way- it is a fun game to play. Trying to change. She has twice now done Bikriam yoga every day for 64 days- only to not do it again for months! But still... she DID go every day...

For me, I am human and don’t like a ton of things about myself. Many of them are changeable and I want to change them. Some are little things, some are bigger. Today on my ride- I was thinking about how I want to go on a 64 day cycle.

How my mother figured out what number day she was on, she added up how many days she had been alive- carefully and obsessively figuring in leap years- and then divided by 64. She took the remainder and that was her number day. Me? That was simply too difficult... (for those of you who don’t know, I am a TOTAL nerd. I think that I missed my calling as a programer)... so, I put in a formula for excel- enter the birthday, subtract from =NOW(), take the quotient of the number of days divided by 64, =QUOTIENT(B2,64), then subtract out the number of days to get the remainder: that is the number day you are on. Then subtract that from 64 and add it to the =NOW() formula and baddabamn, baddabing... you know which day is your next number one day. 8/26/07.

For my mother- that would mean that she would be completely unable to change her life in any dramatic way until 8/26/07. In fact, according to her logic- it appears that if you were to start doing anything that you want to change in your life before a number one day... it won’t help you at all and is totally wasted energy. She has a dash of OCD. Just a touch.

For me, I want to make a few changes, but I don’t need to start on some special day. I want to start today. One thing... I want to be better about my blog. I like to think that I am an intelligent person, but sometimes I do feel like a total idiot when I post entries that I have not proof-read and am too lazy to capitalize letters in. So, the new rule... I will hit the shift bar. I will read before I hit publish.

On a different note: I am a very lucky person and am keenly aware of just how lucky I am. I have had people try and tell me that I have made my luck, or at least that all that I have is not just due to luck. Yes, I do like to think that I have worked hard to get to where I am. But ultimately- I believe that it is me capitalizing on my good luck and not me making my fate all on my own. I simply could not have the life that I have if I were not an incredibly lucky person. I am lucky.

The good luck that I have had in my life is largely due to some wonderful people. A lot of them... and not just the people who KNOW that they are responsible for the good things in my life. My second grade teacher... my eighth grade math teacher... a man who worked at Berkeley and kept me hanging in and not quitting volleyball in my last two miserable years. I want to thank these people. They probably hardly remember me. But I want them to know that they have made a huge impression on my life. So, one of my resolutions is to thank some of these people. I want them to know that my luck did not come from in a vacuum. And they are a big part of that. So... that is one of my resolutions. I want to thank some people who have been very instrumental in my life and don’t know it.

It will, of course, be hard to follow up on my resolutions right away. Harry Potter will be devouring a lot of my free-time until I have found out for certain that Snape really is a good guy and will be instrumental in helping Harry defeat Voldemort. Once I am done with the Deathly Hallows, it will be on to improving my life... the real reason for my resolution? I already know that a profound state of depression is eminent with the conclusion of Harry Potter. I am so sad to know that it is almost over.

PS... my mom’s latest resolution is to learn to love cycling. Above, she is riding my race bike from last year (Pepto- my beloved pink LOOK 555 which I am so in love with that I could not possibly sell... so I gave her to my mom). Mom is sporting some prescription goggles, since she does not like the wind in her eyes. And yes, her hair is braided... but she has been doing that for ages when she does yoga. Not sure which one of us started that one first! She is pretty cute though, huh?