Well, I am here... now the racing starts!

I am writing this from a small hotel room in France, outside Plouay where tomorrow we will race the World Cup. We just got back from pre-riding the course. My first thoughts are that the course is going to be deceptively hard. There is not a whole lot of climbing, but the two climbs will prove to be really hard when riders turn up the heat. We will be doing 6 laps: the race starts out with a short little steep climb where you really want to be in the front of the race heading into it- but since it winds through town before heading uphill, there will be very little room to move up. After that short climb, there is a decent then a quick little power climb (FUN!), rollers, descent then a longer gradual climb that is the type that SEEMS like it won’t be a big deal when pre-riding but during the race, it will be selective and unbelievably hard.

My legs felt good today- that is a big relief since I flew in yesterday and my legs were not doing well at all! Flying really takes it out of your legs, but I had also been a bit worried that I had ridden too hard last Tuesday. I had done a bunch of 2 and 1 minute intervals and was not supposed to go all out, but sort of did. They felt good and so each one, I would push a little harder- a little harder- a little harder... until my last ones ended with my face marked by a grimace of gnashed teeth and a focused stare... that is when I know that I am going hard.

Well, after going so hard and flying for 7 (?) hours, my legs were really feeling it. I had taken a red-eye flight and applied the principles of “better living through applied pharmacology” and drugged myself to get some sleep on the plane. I don’t have a whole lot of time to deal with jet lag and loss of sleep, so I had taken two Tylenol PM’s (sans the Tylenol- I think that they are called Sleepy Time or Simply Sleep, something like that)... anyway, they worked wonders! After a delectable dinner of airplane food and an hour and a half of movie, I put on my leopard print velvet sleeping mask that my mom made for me (I am sure it made for quite a sight!) popped my pills and soon was out cold. I did discover, however, that I have a new habit of sucking up my own seeping drool. Twice I woke myself up slurping with the sound of a dentists office spit sucker as I subconsciously worked to tame in the pools of slobber that were escaping from the corner of my mouth. I am not sure if this was good for my neighbor (benefit: no spit on him arm) or bad (detriment: he had to listen to me syphoning my own saliva). Either way, I had no control. I was so out of it that I was drooling and apparently it was bad enough to be so embarrassing that in my sate of unconsciousness, I still managed to be cognizant enough to decide to do something about it.

After my flight, I managed to fight off sleep and stay awake until 10 that night and quickly get onto local time. I am not too effected by jet lag typically since I usually power through until the night and just get right onto local time. I try to not think about what time it is where I came from and just get right into a new sleep cycle. I was very proud that I stayed up so late and am very happy I did too, since this morning I woke up feeling right on schedule.

I was saying how horrible my legs felt yesterday though. They were tender to touch. I was not sure if it was the intervals, the flying, or most likely, both. But it is a bit worrisome when two days before a race, you notice that your legs are hurting when you walk. The thought of racing was very unappealing... simply put, it was hard to imagine that I COULD race again so soon! But after getting a great rub from Laura (our soignier- spelling? I am lost without a spell check!), my legs started to come around and today, our ride woke them up and they felt great. “They hay is in the barn” at this point. I have trained hard to be here and to be ready for this point and tomorrow, we will see if all that pays off. I hope so!

It struck me today, as it often did when I was here last time, how (for lack of a better expression) fundamentally cool it is to be here racing with these women. I was sitting in the back of our little pace line and thinking about just how strong our team is and how I get to be a part of it. These are world class riders and it is such an honor to get to race with them. Our team for tomorrow is Kat Carroll, Lauren Franges, Kori Seehafer, Kathryn Curi, Alison Powers and myself. It is exciting to know that we have a team that can control races and not just be pack fodder. I said it before and I will say it again, I feel lucky and proud to be here.

For now, I am going to rest and get ready for tomorrow. I am SUPER excited to race.

Last ride, then leaving (Mark Challenge Blog)

(This is hard. For my blog readers: Mark has challenged me to write entire entries without the letter “o”. I believe that my already challenged writing suffers extensive damage when I drop this precious letter, but Santa Cruz Coffee Roasting Company Sweet Italian is worth a high price... what to do? What to do?)

I am riding this evening, my last, and then I leave here. (MARK: one sentence down, no “o”’s) Ahead lies France, The Netherlands and Italy and the best racing in the galaxy. (Two sentences: I want a full pound of Sweet Italian Roast, ground for cone filter) After I write this, I will ride my last ride which will be 2 minute and 1 minute hard intervals. This gets me race ready... finished with nearly all my training... just this single ride left. Then I get back here and pack up my things, clean and pack my bike and all the unfinished business that needs attending. Namely, packing. I believe I am an excellent packer. I pack light, but am generally very anal and am very careful in getting my things arranged. I put in vast energies when I pack, thinking carefully and planning. I like it.

OK- do I am done with the Mark Challenge for now. I am not a brilliant character like Mark who is able to do things like this with verbal grace and erudition. For me, I blunder along and allow my fingers to fall on that silly key above my right ring finger... I CAN’T DO IT MARK! I can’t! How can you ask of a silly loquacious girl, such as myself, to stifle my self-expression!? I cannot speak freely if I am banned of certain key strokes! We all know how much I love to hear myself talk... I AM such an interesting conversationalist (just this morning, I had an interesting discussion with myself on the merits of sympatric speciation models. I am not quite sure I agree with all of Dr. Brooke’s views on the topic, but it was an interesting heuristic discussion none the less) and I can hear my voice when I read my dribble. So, I chose to abandon this fruitless pursuit and will simply purchase my coffee online... thank you very much!

In all honesty, I am sitting on the couch, writing in this blog when I really should be on my bike. I am about to head out, but I have some momentum tying me to this green couch. I am not a big fan of afternoon riding, but I chose to sleep in this AM and run some errands before heading out. I am actually quite excited to ride: it is a gorgeous day! But I am also waiting for the heat to lessen a bit. I have my last training ride before I leave! I had a GREAT ride yesterday and am excited to get out again today. I felt SO strong! And I needed it too. I did not spell it out in my blog, but for those in-between-the-line readers, the last few workouts I had been struggling. I was tired! Training hard does really take it out of you and I really hate having more than one bad ride in a row. I had a bad ride on friday and then another bad one on Sat... on Sat, I could not get my heart rate up and was caught in the rain. Just a not good day on the bike. But yesterday redeemed it all! Just as any good ride should! It was a gorgeous day and I was fresh off of some much needed time off. I had two 20 minute intervals and I just felt invincible. It is fun when you have those days- which do not happen often, might I ad! Today, I have the short intervals then get to pack and wash my bike etc. I really should get a move on. But I did want to try Mark’s challenge. I don’t always respond to comments on my blog, but I do love them! (Thanks Heather!!!! by the way!). Ok, momentum be dammed... I am out of here!

Three days and counting...

Time flies. It is a cliche’ but it is true. It is simply mind-boggling to me that I will be hopping on a plane and flying back to Europe on Wednesday. It is hard to really comprehend it. Since Jim told me that I am going back- I have been in a bit of a state of disbelief. I did not want to talk about it too much for fear that speaking of it would burst that magical little bubble that made it all true. But the time is counting down and reality is beginning to form a more and more distinct picture in front of me. Ahead of me is Plouay World Cup, Tour of Holland and Giro Toscana... dare I say that Worlds might exist in my future too? Right now, I have my fingers crossed that I may be so honored as to secure the final spot on the World’s team for the US. There are normally 6 slots, but since Tina won the Pan Am Championships, she got an automatic bid for a 7th slot. Right now, there is one spot left... my fingers are crossed to get a chance to represent the US in Germany on Sept. 29th, but if I don’t get to go, it is because there are so many fantastic women racers in the US right now. It would be hard to be too disappointed when this is so far above and beyond my goals for this season. We are talking an order of magnitude more than I could have even begun to hope for. So, if I get to go, I will be ecstatic. But if not? I will get my chance someday. I am confident of that. So, I will be happy for whoever does get to go. I know that it will be someone I respect and like personally, since I can truthfully say that I do respect and like all the people who I race against who are in contention. I feel lucky to be part of such a great group of inspirational women. We really are lucky. I am competitive and want to win, but I also really like my competitors. It is a great situation to be in.

But as it is now, I am on the cusp of going back to race where the best race. I can’t wait! I have a day off today since I have been trashed for the last couple days. We have been going hard and it takes its toll on me. That is what we want, so that when I get to back off, I start feeling like a million bucks and get really fired up to race. Some racers don’t like their days off. They feel antsy and feel like they are missing out. I can say that the same is not true for me. I like getting my days off. I like to take a break and get excited again to be on the bike. I won’t lie- I get saddle sores, I get tired, I need a break some times. When I do get a break, I enjoy it. I do get ready to get back on the bike again, but having a day off is something that I like. I know that I respond well to rest and can feel my body heal and get ready to race again. And, of course, getting time off for me helps me rekindle that bikelove. You all know how I love to love my bike! A day off is a good recipe for getting back to loving my bike. It is, after all, much harder to love your bike when you are trashed!

For now, I will say goodbye as I start to get ready. Three days. How does time fly SO fast? Wow.

The Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles

Today was a not so fun day. Andrew and I have officially moved to Ohio. That means that today, we have to get our new licenses and change over our car registration. Long story short: wow. We got to the first place, waited in line (no take a number and sit down at THIS place). Oops, nope. You have to go next door. OK. Next door, wait in line and then go back to where we were to get our pictures taken and our new ID’s. Yay. I am an Ohio resident... (State Championships 2008, here I come!). So then, we have to change over our Title on our cars to get the new registration. Never heard of that before and certainly did not have to do that in Illinois- but c’est la vie. But, to do that, we had to drive cross town to another place. No line. Woopie! Then back to the original place, but first, we had to get a smog check on our Volvo. Apparently, after waiting to get the test, we found out that our gas cap was bad. Drive cross town again to get to a car parts store and then back to the smog place. In the 20 minutes that it took us to get the new gas cap, the entire city of Cleveland had decided to get their smog checked too. We sat in 100* heat waiting to get them to say that our new gas cap was fine. Yup. Fine. BACK to the original place and wait in line again before we finally get our new license plates. YAY. What a fun day?

The reason why I have that picture though is that on the written test- it was a question... what does the sign mean? Does it mean A) an intersection is ahead B) someone recently died at that place C) the road curves to the left or D) a church is ahead. I found that rather amusing. Same with the question that asked what a pedestrian with a white cane means: A) the cane means nothing B) the person is deaf and cannot hear C) the person is blind or D) the person uses the cane to beat their way through crowds. I personally know what I would use the cane for!

After that long day, I went out to do the second part of my training. I had already ridden rollers in the morning with a cadence drill that Linda has me do. With the heat and how tired I was from my very hard ride yesterday: I was hurting today from the get go. Yesterday, I had three really hard intervals and it really took it out of me. All and all, 4 hours of good, hard training. I went to bed exhausted and could barely wake up this morning. Not a big shocker that I was dying out there today! I had to cut out a bunch of my intervals since I had dropped more that 10% of my power on the last couple. At some point, it becomes counter-productive to keep pushing. Today, I cut out so that I can go hard tomorrow. I was not getting what I needed out of my workout today. It sucks, but it is what it is. Tomorrow is a new day. I am excited to get out there and ride.

High highs and a few lows

I got back from Chicago a couple days ago. Drove all day on Monday and then ran around and rode hard on Tuesday. It was a good weekend, filled with many highs and a couple lows. Sorry to be away from my blog for so long. I was not online out there.

One of the highs of my trip was that I was staying with a host family- the family of a women who I had met via email when I was living out there. I had never met Jess in person, but had corresponded with her in the past. She was new to racing and was an avid cyclist. She does a lot of work with Team in Training, an organization that I really respect and think is fantastic. It is also close to heart since I got my start with the AIDS ride- a similar type of thing.

Anyway, Saturday morning, Jess invited me to go for a ride with TNT before I raced that night. I eagerly agreed to- I was going to ride anyway and I thought that it would be a lot of fun. Well, Jess had emailed them and said that I was coming and I have to say- I have never had such rock-star treatment before! It was so flattering to have them introduce me and have me talk about racing, present me with a jersey and really make me feel special. Later that night- they came to the race and cheered me on! Things have happened so fast for me that I still think of myself as a newbie cyclist complete with black shorts, a yellow windbreaker and a rear view mirror (yes- that was me). Of course I have come a long way since the days of my lace-up bike messenger shoes with SPD cleats, but still. I am hardly use to feeling like a bigfish. They made me feel so special and it was a heck of a lot of fun. Well worth the early morning. I do want to give a plug for Team in Training- I can think of few better ways for new riders to get into our sport. It is such a positive and encouraging group and they really have a great mission... the best of both worlds: making people’s lives better from helping and being helped. I really enjoyed being with them and wish them all good luck! And it was GREAT to have them cheering at the race!

After my ride in the morning, it was back home for a nap and then the first race that night: the prelude to the national championships. It is the same course and, for the most part, the same field- so it is a great chance to size people up and get familiar with the great Downers Grove course! We lucked out (for me) with torrential rain... of course no one wants to race in the rain, but I really do find that I like it. Once I am wet- provided I don’t get too cold- I want the rain to come down hard and make life miserable for my competitors! The kid in me still comes out and gets giddy with a good storm. Mind you- I have had my share of misery in the rain too, but still. Since I don’t mind the rain, it is a big advantage for me: the hard, miserable races are often the best for me.

So, we got lucky with rain and a lot of it! I really wanted a win. I had been really disappointed with my finish at Elk Grove and I had not gotten a win in a while. I had been training hard and my legs were loaded badly the week before. This weekend, Linda had backed me off after my hard day on Tuesday and I was feeling itchy to race and to race hard. I knew that on that technical course (hill and corners- LOTS of them), the rain brought in perfect conditions for a break-away. Although I never shy away from a bunch sprint, it is a heck of a lot more fun to win by riding off the front than by sitting in and waiting for some big sprint. I wanted to race my bike! So, on lap 2 or 3, when I saw Kristin Sanders from Aarons launch a small attack, I bridged up to her fast and used her draft to slingshot around her with a hard attack and proceeded to ride hard solo until I was delighted to see Alison Powers bridge right up to me. The perfect break-mate! At this point, the rain was coming down pretty good and Alison is not one to shy away from bad weather either. The two of us started working hard right away and I was fairly certain that we would make the winning break. Shortly thereafter, better news- Kat Carroll from Aarons and Laura Bowls from Chapstick came to join. Kat, Ali and I worked the hardest, letting Laura sit in and get a free ride for most of the race. The rain started to come down harder and we were all working very hard and I, for one, was loving it. Kurt Jambretz (one of the best photographers in the peloton) took SUCH a great shot of Ali and me.... really says it all! (Check out below and click on it for a link to his website. This one was from CyclingNews).

The crowd was great too: I kept hearing my name. Turns out that not only were the Team in Training people there, in the rain, cheering me on... but I had talked to a number of people after the race last weekend and told them to check out Downers. They came to cheer me on!!!! It was just great! I had people cheering me the whole race and I love to hear my name when I am on a bike! I revel in it!

On the last lap, Ali attacked on the back stretch and I was fourth wheel behind her, getting gapped since Kat was a bit slow to respond. I came around Kate and Laura, but Ali lead the final corner (150m to the line). She had about a bike length on me since I had not been able to close all the way yet- I was not worried and knew that I should be able to out-sprint Ali, as that is what I am supposed to do, but then my wheel slipped as I rounded the corner. I missed hitting the deck, but had to delay my sprint as I steadied my bike. Ali at this point had opened up a huge gap on me- several bike lengths, now with less than 150m to go! Fortunately, my meal ticket is in my fast twitch muscle fiber, so thankfully, I was able to open up the gas and take her on the line. It was a fun race for all of us- we had a good time in that break and it turns out (from what I hear) that we had not only put 1’15” on the field, but that we were a scant 13” from lapping them! I had no idea. I was just racing my bike.

The next day was the race to win though- with a National Championship, there is only one spot on that podium that matters: the top step. I was really looking forward to that race and Stacy and Linda had flow in the night before so I had one teammate and a fabulous director. Long story short: it was a disappointing race. We got rain and it was slick and Stacy got caught up in two crashes. That happens in the rain. The last crash for her was with 2 laps to go, ending her race. For me, I had been sitting in all race and was very focused. I had been thinking of where I wanted to be and how I was going to get there the whole race. I was feeling great: with all my hard training, racing hard the night before did not take anything out of my legs. I was hungry, very hungry to win that race. It would be a very hard race to win: a real test. I was ready for that test. Teresa Cliff-Ryan, Laura Van Guilder, Tina Pic... I don’t get to race against all three very often. And of course, there was a host of other top sprinters there too. I wanted to prove that I was someone to win a national title and I was ready.

As expected, the race was not as hard as I would like. The teams to control the race, Colavita, Verducci, Cheerwine- all wanted it to come down to a bunch finish, so they were not attacking the field. I only had one teammate, so we were limited in what we could do about making the race hard. So, it was mostly an easy race and not many riders were dropped. Bummer for me, since as I mentioned before, I thrive on hard races! But that was fine. I was still staying in good position and just keeping my focus. I had stayed rubber-side down and mentally preparing for the finish as we entered the two laps to go point. Stacy had just crashed behind me. I was on my own and knew it. As we headed up the hill, I was on the left side, holding my position and waiting to advance on the descent when two riders in front of me got pinched against the barricade at slow speed (we were going up the hill) and just crashed right in front of me. There was no where that I could go and, although I did not crash myself, I rode over one rider and had gotten completely off my bike and was struggling to clip back in as the pack raced away. Filled with furry and frustration, I chased and I chased hard. They were only 200m or so up the road from me and I was actually convincing myself that I would pull a Robbie McEwen... I was going to catch them and THEN win the sprint! That though kept me racing hard, but it is not a surprise that I could not catch on in time. I caught onto the back fragments of the pack as they were strung out for the finish. Argh. I was frustrated, but that is bike racing. It is what it is.

I am so glad that I was able to pick up a win on Sat though. That really meant a lot to me and it felt good. It had been a while since I had stood atop the golden step. It is at least some consolation for not getting a chance for the finish in the race that really mattered.

Now, I am back in Cleveland and had a great workout yesterday. I had another one of my trainer-hellsprint workouts... the kind where I can barely finish and am dripping with sweat the whole time. I play some interesting mental games to keep myself going and as I write this- I am still not sure how I managed to finish. But I did. I had a great workout and I know that it is going to make me stronger. It already has. But I DO get pretty worked in it... here is a pic of me right after I got off my bike from the warm-up! I still had an hour of hell left. I would have taken a post-hell pic, but I collapsed on the ground and did not want to move for a while. Then I sat in a tub of ice and ate dinner. So, no pics showing the dead to the world rider that I was when I was done yesterday. I like to push myself. So, for some reason... I like this kind of thing.

Gates Mills- the rich of the Ohio rich...

I had a shorter ride today, only two hours with some one minute intervals. I rode out to my favorite stretch to do my intervals- one of the few places around here that is truly flat: along the Chagrin River. It is beautiful too with lots of trees and it snakes alongside the river. It is just on the outskirts of the Cleveland suburbs and has sprawling estates and enormous houses. The end of my ride is the little town of Gates Mills, where the rich of the rich live. The stretch of road is only about 3K, but if I head back and forth along it, I can get in some good intervals, starting in Gates and heading south only to loop back to Gates again.

Gates Mills is an interesting little town, best described as “quaint”. All the houses are nearly identical, see above. It is beautifully lush with everything around a brilliant shade of green only suitable for a crayola box or for the chemically preserved lawns of Agusta. Not a blade of grass goes untended, each one being nipped carefully by hired hands so as to form a nearly perfect burberry carpet of green framed with wooden picket fences and perfect geraniums/impatience. The city must have ordinances that restrict how the town looks and feels, since it is so painfully Stepford and uniform. As far as I can deduce, the ordinance is that all homes must be painted white, with black trim. And, that all owners must be white: no black trim. Yards must be tended, but occupants are forbidden to work beyond lifting a delicately manicured finger to sign a pay-stub. It also seems that residents must belong to either the local Hunt Club, Polo Club or both. (The former is one of my favorite places to steal cool water- on my rides, there are VERY few places to fill up bottles and with the heat and humidity, I go through a lot of bottles. Along the tennis courts [upscale Hunt Clubs have more to offer the elite than merely the prestige of membership and the honor of chasing and killing red foxes], they have cool water jugs and I eagerly help myself to bottles every time I pass by. I keep waiting for me to be shooed out with a broom as a dangerous and reckless vagrant).

Gates Mills is also a very big equestrian town. Being that the center of town boasts the Hunt Club, it is no surprise that beautiful sleek horses are frequently seen in the nicest of stables. The horses really are gorgeous- they are long and lanky with rippling muscles gleaning beneath their iridescent coats. You see them all over, trotting or cantering with flawless gates around stadiums filled with jumps of various proportions and with a besotted rider nestled atop. I find the juxtaposition of the often plump-bottomed riders sitting astride these most beautiful of equestrian athletes an amusing one: perhaps it is for the good exercise that these animals are so well “conditioned”. The only horses more lovely are in Woodside California or in the Amish country (amazing creatures, spectacular and well tended but for entirely different reasons).

That is my ride. It is a gorgeous area, one to which I most certainly do not belong and never wish to. But I can certainly say that I always enjoy the ride through there and the funny looks that I either actually receive or only receive in my imagination from the passersby who call that strange and sterile place “home”.

There are good days and bad days... today? Good.

Yesterday- bad.

I am laughing at my blog from yesterday being called “Motivation”. I was clearly struggling with it in the morning, but I did succeed in getting out the door. Problem was that there was an underlying reason why I was struggling with my motivation: I was tired. I did not realize it though. So, I got out the door to warm-up for my trainer/sprint workout and got home and set everything up. I have a great setup for this workout and NEED it too! It is as hard (if not harder) mentally as physically, so I have to be prepared. I have my bike in my computrainer and a digital projector projecting the iTunes visualizer and a huge digital clock on the wall for me to time my efforts and I have music BLASTING. I also have a big box fan blowing full blast right on me, as sweat pours off my body and forms glistening pools under my bike. I am also a bit embarrassed to admit this- but I also have tacked up jerseys that I have won on the walls. It is a big ego-maniac type thing to do, but that is not why I do it. I have them there for no one to see but me. They are there to remind me of what my goals are. I want to be the best in the world. I have hung up a representative of every jersey I have won to remind me of how far I have come, and to remind me of what it feels like to win. I am training to WIN. I am not training for second place. I look at my walls and I remember that. It is my little den down there- a workout room for me to push myself. Yesterday was one of my days to be down there, working hard.

Things do not always go as planned, however. Yesterday was one of those days. I had warmed up and then came back to the house and setup my bike, filled my bottles and slurped down a couple Clif Shots. Ready to go. I had an hour on the schedule, I was psyching myself up. I LOVE this workout. It hurts so badly. It is so hard. I could not do it on the road, as I would fall off my bike. I trash myself and collapse in exhaustion when it is over.

But yesterday, I clambered up onto my bike and started: 10 minutes later, I was off my bike and unable to get back on. I just could not do it. I was exhausted! My legs were just dead and I could not do it. Physically or mentally. I was done. 10 minutes. Argh. Not good.

I called Linda and told her that I was not doing so hot and explained. She gave me the night off- which I really needed. I joined Andrew at the Indians’ game against Detroit (they lost in the 10th inning: good game and a packed house!). It was good to get out of the house, not be doing stuff on the computer and not be riding. I had not realized how badly I needed a break until yesterday. There was a reason why I was struggling to get myself going and a reason why I was not able to finish my workout. I needed a break. Linda pushes me hard. Very hard. Then, when I am tried, only THEN do we back off. I raced Nature Valley, then went straight into hard training: track camp, then some solid training before Altoona. After ‘Toona, it was one day off and back into the hard training again. I have not stopped. I have been responding well, so we keep piling on the miles and the intervals. I am training for Europe: I want to win. I want to go back and show that it was not a fluke that I did well in the Spring. I had a bunch of rest before Nature Valley and this is like a second season for me. I am peaking for September, not for August. So, yes. I was tired. I needed a break and got one.

So today...

Well, yes, I needed a break and I calmly write about it now. But yesterday, grasped by the wrenching pangs of defeat, I could not see things so clearly. I was so mad at myself for feeling like I quit. SO mad! So frustrated. I was upset. I HATE to quit. It was hard for me to keep the perspective that I have now: how hard I have been training, how hard I have been working on sponsorship stuff (now I am done with my part), how hard these workouts have been, and the fact that I was about to start my period (!)... humm... seems to make sense. I don’t think that I just quit or gave up. My body shut down and made me stop.

Well, so after yesterday though, I was determined to have a good, focused ride today. Linda prescribed some good hours of tempo with some cadence work. I went to bed excited to ride in the morning and set my alarm for 6:30AM. After the traditional and pre-requisite 30 minutes of snoozing, I practically jumped out of bed to make pancakes and get on my bike. I was out the door by 8:10.

I LOVED my bike today. I really really loved my bike. And it was a hard day to love my bike too: struggling with a cramping uterus and lower back from the root of my emotional upheaval of the day before, and riding hard, steady and long. I was trying to keep my power above 200W the whole day and keep my legs spinning. I wandered out toward the Amish country and then explored. I like riding out here: I ride to get lost. You can’t ever get all that lost, so it is fun to explore roads that you have never been down before and just wander around. I spent the first 2.5 hours riding roughly East/North and the rest riding roughly West/South. I had been gearing for 4 hours but ended up staying out for 5 hours of ride time (longer than that since my ride time does not include any coasting, as my speed sensor is broken and only registers power). I did take a couple breaks: once to play with a baby raccoon who I saw crossing the road. I could have touched him and almost did, but was worried he would bite me. I fed him half my Clif bar and a pancake. I was sad to see him, something was wrong, but I could not do anything save passing him along some food, and I could not see what was the matter anyway. But raccoon babies don’t cross roads by themselves in the middle of the day.

Then I did have a couple breaks to get more drink and food, rest a bit, then hit the road again. It turned into a long day: 6.5 hours of chamois time all and all. I came home and took the most intense nap I have had in ages! I just got back from dinner, eating a huge burrito and I might venture out for a sundae after a movie that I am planning on watching. Not sure which movie yet- but it is a TREAT to get to veg out with the TV. I am excited! I have not gotten a whole lot of time to veg in a while and my brain sure as heck is not worth much tonight.

Motivation

I am sitting here, just sipping away at the last precious drops of cold coffee that cling staunchly to the bottom of my favorite mug, in my pajamas and working away at my computer. Ahead of me is a double-day workout. A hard one too: my hell workout on the trainer to work on my sprint, then a training race later on tonight. Right now, I keep picking up my mug, sucking for that last bit- trying hard to believe that it is not done. There must be more coffee left. I can’t be ready to start my workout yet! I still have a lot of morning left!

My routine usually involves me getting up and going to my computer. Sigh. Not a good idea as it usually sucks me in (much more effectively than my attempts at my cold coffee) and delays me getting on my bike. Partly, I like it. Since I do so much work with team stuff, I always have a ton of things on my plate to attend to and, invariably, when I get up in the morning, I have several emails alerting me to some of the multitude of things that need to get done that day. And, it is nice to get a easy start on the day and not feel rushed out the door.

But, it is not always great. I really would prefer to get up early and be on my bike at 8 every morning. That never happens though. Unless I am meeting someone else at 8, I never seem to get out the door before 10-11. When I use to train with others, I always rode early- but that whole motivation thing is hard. I am not un-motivated! But I have to contend with momentum, and that is sometimes hard to do.

I am looking forward to getting out the door- but my bike is in a bag and needs to be unpacked. I just flew back from Chicago where I had done Elk Grove last Sunday. Fun race: but disappointingly few riders there. I had a disappointing race personally and finished 5th. It was the Cheerwine show, since they had LVG and a full squad and all the other NRC teams only had a handful of riders. We were all marked, so no break that we were in would stick whereas local riders would ride off the front all day. It ended up being a strange race and the sprint was pretty chaotic. I was fighting to not get boxed in and jumped later than I wanted to. After having someone swing in front of me and almost take out my front wheel, I had to scrub some speed and did not get a chance to come around the riders in front of me. With how much I have been training and how dead my legs have been, I was not expecting a strong performance- just good training. So, I have to keep that in perspective. I want a strong showing at Downer’s next weekend. THAT one is my race to win.

I have a great bike bag where it will take me about 5 minutes to get my bike together: all I do is rotate the handlebars and take off the rear derailluer. So, I should really get up and do that. Come on Brooke... chamois-up! I know that I will have a good ride... it has been beautiful out and I am looking forward to getting outside. But damn that momentum... one more cup of coffee for the road?

Since when did I become a swimmer?

HOLY HOT AND HUMID BATMAN!

I have done Bikraim Yoga... yet, I can saw with confidence that I have never sweat so much before in my entire life as I have in the last few days. Cleveland has introduced me to hot and HUMID. Today, I had what I have dubbed “trainer-sprint-hell” workout and had to get a good warmup. It was pissing down rain, so I set up my rollers on our covered balcony, so I would at least be “outside”. Had I not been sweating this profusely at all my workouts for the last few days, i would not have believed it. Sweat dripping off my fingers, rolling into my eyes, soaking my clothes, socks and shoes. I wrung out my sports bra and got probably about 1/4 c of sweat! Just in the sports bra!

Then I did trainer-sprint-hell... oh my word. Linda hates me! Well... no she doesn’t! She knows that I like to push hard and she is pushing me hard! More sweat pouring off me in buckets. Disgusting, but it does make you feel like you got one hell of a workout, so that is good!

Now though, I am exhausted and am going to go to bed. I was deleting old blogs to make space for new, and I realized that I have been through SO much this year. It was funny to read back to Feb when I was hoping that I could finish my thesis and not always knowing from day to day... or when I was battling my body when I was sick and worn down. It is that emotional ADD kicking in- when I am not feeling those emotions, it is hard for me to remember that they were there before and so visceral. I like reading my old entries. I am kind of sad to delete them. Really, I should save them in case I get bored some day and want to go back and remember what 2007 was like. WOW is the conclusion... and there is still a lot to come. Only 8 months ago now, I was going to drop out of my PhD. I really was.

Good night!

Suck it up and ride

I have said it before... I can’t be idle for too long before I go crazy. So... despite being done with my PhD... life is not ending up with me just racing and training. Nope. For me, I need to be doing stuff, so, shockingly, I am. I have been working on team sponsorship stuff for next year and it is something that I find that I really like and am pretty good at. I missed my calling as a sales person, since I kind of like doing the pitch when it is something that I believe in. Clearly, I believe in this team, so it is fun to try and convey that excitement to other people. That is pretty much my job description... well, rather, putting the pitch into a really really pretty package. Bless you Apple computers... they make the greatest software for stuff like that. But it has been a TON of work! So, sorry for not blogging much. I am working on trying to stay updated more.

Things are going well. I have been feeling really good and racing/training hard. I got back from ‘Toona and took one day off and then headed back into another hard training block. I think that Linda is out to kill me! She has been pushing me really hard to get my power up and my sprint on form for when I head back over the pond. I am very excited by it all!

Yesterday was a hard one- I had an absolutely grueling workout in the morning and then headed off to do a training crit with the local guys. I was suffering out there! Man- hot as hell and humid! I am not use to it and sweat buckets and was so dehydrated. I drank two bottles in that race and still ran out of water and was dehydrated with half the race to go: thought that I would die. We did 18x2-mile laps and when I saw 12 to go- I thought that there was simply no way I was going to finish. I wanted to quite, pretty badly. But then I got excited. I was hurting. I was suffering. I was not doing well. I wanted to stop. HEY! That is a great chance to practice sucking it up!

In all honesty- there have been so many races where I have thought that I could not finish. One of the key races in that category was the Altoona crit last year- of the 30 laps, I was bonking at lap 5... I don’t know how I held on, but I did. Then I rallied and finished 5th. Not sure how.

Well- yesterday felt like that. I don’t often get a chance to practice rallying and sucking it up in that type of a situation, so that is how I looked at it. I was totally blown after I had gone hard for a cash prime (took second) and then the guys counter-attacked me hard! (NOTE: I had no intention of going for the prime, but they egged me on. THEN they attacked me!) I was hanging on when a group got off. So, I tried to bridge up with a friend of mine- rather, he was trying to drag me up there. But I was blown from the back to back efforts and could not make it and he was dropping me. So, the rest of the race, I sat in with the main pack and suffered.... each lap, looking at the cards and thinking, “ok, only 10 more. You can do 10.” “Only 5 laps left. This will make you better”...

So, I did. And it felt good. It was a great workout and I was glad to have a chance to fight the inner-whiner and repress the urge to stop.

That also falls in line with my new mantra on intervals: “Only X more minutes to get better”. When I am doing a hard interval, I get excited to think that I am getting better. As I am suffering, I think about how few minutes you really get to get BETTER. Not many, really. So, I focus and really think of how that effort is going to make me better. Only two minutes left to get better. Only one more interval to make me better... that is what goes through my head. I kind of like it when I want to quite because then I can fight it. My hell workout yesterday was a battle like that: each time, I would say, “one more... just do ONE more”... It works for me.

Speaking of sucking it up and riding...

It is hot and humid outside and I can tell you with certainty that I don’t want to get out there. I have saddle sores, am tired and it is unpleasant to even set foot away from the precious air conditioning... but guess what?

Yup. BYE!